Difference between a Threesome and a Polyamorous Relationship.
In recent times, the dating world has opened up to new relationship structures. Most couples are choosing to step out of the standard monogamous type of relationship. The reason is mainly the need for exploration and sexual satisfaction.
Unlike monogamous relationships exclusive to two partners, in threesome and polyamorous relationships, the partners are involved with more than one partner. More like an open relationship, but with clear set rules and boundaries. Listed below are the differences between a threesome and a polyamorous relationship.
The Purpose
A threesome relationship is purely for sexual pleasure where the involved persons are solely interested in sex with no strings attached. In most cases, there is usually a couple in a committed relationship introducing a third person in their bedroom purely for sex, fun, and enjoyment. It can also be three singles who come together for the sole purpose of having sex.
In a polyamorous relationship, the partners agree to introduce a third party in their relationship not only for sex but also for creating intimate friendships, bonds, and love.
In both situations, the primary partners need to understand the motivations of introducing a third party in their bedroom. It may be due to the need to spice up their sex life by injecting a different flavor to it or even the need to experience new sensations.
Must Read: 5 Rules When You Setting Up A Threesome
Nature
A threesome involves three partners who can either be two males and a female, or two females and a male or three females or three males who engage in sex with each other at the same time. It usually involves various sexual activities like anal and vaginal sex and exploration of different styles among many others.
In polyamorous dating, the partners are allowed to have sex with a secondary partner but not necessarily at the same time. You can choose to have sex with your fiancé today and have it with your secondary partner on a different day. However, there are times when they can decide to have group sex.
In both cases, the primary partners have consented to have sex with another person. All the parties must go for medical screenings before engaging in sexual activities.
Rules of Engagement
Managing a monogamous relationship can be stressful. A threesome or polyamorous dating is more challenging. It is essential for starters that all parties involved consent to having a third wheel in their relationship. It can be comfortable in a threesome since they are in it for sex and fun only. However, in a polyamorous situation, it is more than that.
Consent is a critical value in both a threesome and a polyamory relationship. The partners should agree that they are all interested in the throuple and that no one feels coerced into it. Consent can be verbal or non-verbal through body language. One should state what they agree to and what they do not, especially during sex. It is common to hear cases where one feels they were forced into sex whereas the other partner feels consensual. Therefore, it is vital to avoid blurred lines.
For polyamory dating to be successful, open communication is vital. The persons involved need to able to express their feelings, needs, and boundaries openly. All parties should clearly articulate what they expect from the relationship. Is it love, emotional support, or friendship? They also need to state what they do not expect. They should negotiate and set boundaries. When selecting the boundaries, they should articulate clearly how much personal information they will share, how much time they will spend with each other, and how they will handle the holidays. All these need to be communicated and understood to ensure a mutually inclusive relationship.
Similarly, they should be able to respect each other’s feelings and needs. The parties should define what respect and disrespect mean to them individually. The aim is treating each other with decency, respecting each other’s autonomy, and at times need for personal space. Similarly, the primary partners might decide to keep their polyamory status private to the public. The secondary partner must, therefore, respect this decision. Most importantly, no one should force themselves on another.
Trust is also a key factor. You need to trust that your partners would not put you at risk by practicing safe sex. This involves trusting that the throuple partners are not engaging in sex with other people on the outside. It is also vital that the partners hold each other accountable and attend regular medical screenings for HIV or STDs.
Taking Time for Yourself
As much as you enjoy spending time with your partners, it is essential to take time to be by yourself. Due to time factor and other responsibilities, it is common for the three partners to allocate different time to their partners. Therefore, you should be able to give your other partners time to be by themselves without feeling jealous or neglected. You can choose to spend this time with family, friends, going to the salon, or a long drive or better yet, enjoy drinks by yourself. What is essential is not to lose yourself in the relationship. Always have a life of your own.
Boundaries
In both threesome and polyamorous relationships, there should be set boundaries that govern the relationship. You should be able to respect the time your partners have set aside for themselves. You might opt to create a schedule to ensure none of the partners feels left out. For instance, Sundays can be a dinner date for all of you, Monday to Wednesday can be set aside for you and your girlfriend, Thursday to Saturday for your partner and your girlfriend, and so on. The schedules should be agreed upon so that you do not interfere with each other’s quality time.
Conclusion
Over and above, any relationship's essence is based on its quality and not necessarily the number of partners involved. Set understandings need to exist for a non-monogamous relationship to work. It takes a lot of work, sacrifice, and compromise from all the partners involved.
